Gommy Box

Gommy Box (1983-2014) was an American video game developer, known for unfortunately releasing "UNRELATED" in 2008.

Early life

Gommy Box was born on the 13th of June 1983 after his parents, Miranda and Johnson Box, were incredibly drunk one night a few months prior. In 2014, during an interview after Gommy's death, they said that neither of them particularly remembered that night, but they absolutely did not intend to have him.

Career

First game attempt

In 2003, he attempted to produce a video game about an underground society of monsters with an overarching theme of pacifism and making friends. Unfortunately, due to Bart Bash's curse still being in effect until 2005, the game was removed from the Internet as soon as it released, and it is now lost media. As nobody particularly liked Box, however, nobody had informed him about the curse, so he instead believed he had simply made a really bad game.

"UNRELATED"

Gommy Box spent the next 5 years working on a game with completely different themes and mechanics, as he believed that was why his previous game-making attempt failed. The new game was released on 15 September 2008 as "UNRELATED". It quickly set a record for fewest video game sales that is untouched to this day, with a total number of sales around -24,000,000,000. This is because, due to how bad the game was, most people who bought it refunded it several times as they felt years of their lives had been taken off by just seeing it.

Involvement in the 2008 financial crisis

See also: 2008 financial crisis

Due to the sheer quantity of refunds for "UNRELATED" in quick succession, several banks were unable to provide the required money, and collapsed. This is widely accepted as being the root cause for much of the 2008 financial crisis. Either Starmer, the Pringles Minister of the United Kingdom, was quoted as having said on the matter, "Fuck you, Gommy. I'm going to do something about this."

Disappearance and death

On the 25th of October, 2012, Box was reported missing by his landlord, who had not received rent for that month. Nobody really cared except for the landlord who had not been paid, so no search attempt was made. Many people were in fact glad that he was gone. On the 15th of December, 2014, an anonymous individual was walking in New York City when they came across a small box emitting an unpleasant smell. When they opened it and found part of Gommy's face inside, they anonymously reported it to the police before quickly leaving the area, as they didn't want to be known as the person who found him. No investigation was done into who did this, as nobody cared. All the boxes of his remains were found within a week (except the one containing his penis, although it was likely too small to be easily found), and unceremoniously thrown into the dumpster behind the local police station.